"Live in the Light of Eternity"

I decided that I should give an update about my life here in California.

I'm honestly loving it here. I always thought it would be cool to live in CA, but never EVER thought I'd end up here. And I always got the impression that it sucked to live here. But I love it!

I love waking up and looking out the window to see palm trees. Palm trees are absolutely my favorite tree. They are so happy, which makes me happy. But anyway, life has been good. Things are more expensive, and it's weird being on my own. The first time I went like hard core grocery shopping, I realized how much on my own I really am. haha. I'd been grocery shopping with my mom before, but I didn't pay attention to how much things cost really. But even for one person, groceries can be expensive! Ooh how wonderful it'd be if we didn't have to survive on food. But ooh well. It's a learning experience and teaching me to be thrifty with my money.

My housing situation has been really great! I live with 6 awesome girls in a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 2 story house. We all get along really well, which has been a huge blessing. It's so fun leaving little messages to each other on our white boards on each of our doors, we have house meetings every week which are always really good. Each of us share our testimonies, which has been really neat. It's just so amazing to see God working in each of our lives and in this "Sawyer Home"(our nickname). God is so incredibly good and really knew what he was doing when he put this household together. He deserves so much praise and glory for everything he does. But mainly just because he is an awesome Father who IS glory.

Eternity Bible College has been really good too. I am loving all of my classes so far. There was only one that I wasn't a fan of, but it was a module so it's already over with. But all the professors are so great and truly love God. It is evident in their teaching and just how they interact with all the students. The title of this blog is "Live in the Light of Eternity", which is EBC's slogan. The people here really live that out and encourage you to do the same. We should constantly been living with the thought that this is not our home. We will be going home soon and everything we are doing here, right now needs to be for the purpose of the Kingdom and to bring glory to our holy, magnificent God. That is all that matters. So anyway, yes...school is good. There is a ton of homework and Bible reading. But it's all so good and I've been learning so much. I still know so little though. And at the end of these 2 years, I will still know so little. But that makes me so excited because that means I can never stop learning and growing in Christ. It does get hard though cause it seems like I'm just constantly studying. But thus the life of a college student, right? I do make time for play though. Dates with my roommates, hanging out with other students, and being with my best friend is what consumes my time when I'm not doing homework. So I can't complain :)

When I moved here I was praying that I'd be able to get involved with a junior high youth group. And God being the incredible Father that he is, provided me with that opportunity. I'm a leader in a youth group called Impact. I love it so much. I have my own small group that has been going really well. Such sweet girls and I can't wait to get to know them more! God continues to put this passion on my heart for junior high girls and right now specifically for these girls that I'm with right now. I can't wait to see what God does in their life.

So yeah! That is my life right now. God is really using this time to make me grow and mature both spiritually and just with life in general.

If you could just be praying that I manage my time and money wisely and also that I either find a job or more fiddle students, that would be a great blessing! Thank you! :)

My Heart and Life is in His Hands Alone

It's hard when someone can't see your heart. When you know your heart is in the right place and that you are striving for and following God's will, but people still put that aside and ultimately deny your heart. They have their own views and their own plans for you, which blinds them to stopping and realizing that just maybe what you're saying and what you're trying to do is right and that they could, in fact, be wrong.

Sometimes this is done out of love, because those people have such an immense love for you that they can't let you go and trust your heart's motives and decisions. Sometimes it is done out of pride, because it's the way they have always done things. They are stuck in tradition, and this pattern that they have always gone by and fear change. But most of the times it's both.

This is so frustrating to me and can be quite hurtful. It's like playing tug-of-war with God and the people that do this, and I'm the rope. God is pulling me towards Him, towards His will and I'm just about to reach that line where the other side loses, but I'm just stuck there for a while or the other sides pulls me back a little bit. I want to just let go of the other side, but I can't because it's so much more complicated than that and quite honestly I'm scared of doing that and hurting them. But then I come back to the fact that this is God, my Creator, my Father, Yahweh who is pulling me towards Him. So how could I let anything keep me from that?

It's so confusing and and makes me so weary.

Whoever is reading this, please just know that I have never been so in love with my Heavenly Father and so eager to follow His will, than at this point in my life. I do not take my life and the decisions that I make lightly, but put them in the hands of the One who formed my heart, broke my heart, and mended it by the renewing of His love and His will for my life.