It's hard when someone can't see your heart. When you know your heart is in the right place and that you are striving for and following God's will, but people still put that aside and ultimately deny your heart. They have their own views and their own plans for you, which blinds them to stopping and realizing that just maybe what you're saying and what you're trying to do is right and that they could, in fact, be wrong.
Sometimes this is done out of love, because those people have such an immense love for you that they can't let you go and trust your heart's motives and decisions. Sometimes it is done out of pride, because it's the way they have always done things. They are stuck in tradition, and this pattern that they have always gone by and fear change. But most of the times it's both.
This is so frustrating to me and can be quite hurtful. It's like playing tug-of-war with God and the people that do this, and I'm the rope. God is pulling me towards Him, towards His will and I'm just about to reach that line where the other side loses, but I'm just stuck there for a while or the other sides pulls me back a little bit. I want to just let go of the other side, but I can't because it's so much more complicated than that and quite honestly I'm scared of doing that and hurting them. But then I come back to the fact that this is God, my Creator, my Father, Yahweh who is pulling me towards Him. So how could I let anything keep me from that?
It's so confusing and and makes me so weary.
Whoever is reading this, please just know that I have never been so in love with my Heavenly Father and so eager to follow His will, than at this point in my life. I do not take my life and the decisions that I make lightly, but put them in the hands of the One who formed my heart, broke my heart, and mended it by the renewing of His love and His will for my life.
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