Home Is Where The Heart Is...?

This stage in life can be so confusing. I feel like every day is an unknown. Of course it is in a way...we can't know what is going to happen today or tomorrow. But for me right now its like one day I feel great and excited and the next I feel lost and lonely. I have a wonderful family and great friends. But where is my best friend? That person who can instantly know that I am struggling and will say the simplest things to make me feel better. The person who I know I can run to and will drop whatever they are doing to listen. I have 3 people (other than family) who I trust and can tell anything to. None of those people are my age though. I did have 3 others my age...but I've either just grown distant from them or they simply don't care anymore.

It makes this short while here so hard. It makes me want to move away right this instant, but at the same time, there are still those that are so precious to me who I want more time with. But it is so hard not to dwell on the fact that I feel so distant from this place that I call home. If the saying "home is where the heart is" is true...where is my heart? I think it's still where I gave it away to. It's in California. Even though it is a different situation now...it is still there.

I love this place. I love these people. This is where I know I can always come back to and feel safe. I know I am going to be homesick for it when I am gone. But I desperately need a change of scene.

I can't let my longing for a new life rob my time left here.